Windows 10 Installed 75 Million Times In First Month: Microsoft Quite Pleased With Themselves

Microsoft has revealed that Windows 10 has been installed on more than 75 million devices in the first month of its release. The news caused jubilation in the company, and  several Microsoft executives have allegedly sustained serious “High Five” related wounds, according to anonymous sources in Emergency Rooms across the globe. At the same time, there has been a sharp rise in the reporting of spinal “back slapping” traumas as well.

Unofficial stories are also emerging that the entire Champagne reserve of France for 2015 has been consumed, and that Microsoft has enforced an urgent “no eye contact” rule among members of its staff in an apparent bid to stop any more injuries occurring from over exuberance.  A Microsoft spokesman refused to speculate on reports that 3 employees had been placed in medically induced comas after experiencing extreme bouts of “smugness,” and “self-satisfaction.”

Well, maybe not…

But Microsoft has reason to be more than happy with itself following the initial success of Windows 10. Senior Vice President,  Yusuf Mehdi’s twitter feed had remained pretty much silent since tweeting that Windows 10 had passed 14 million installs in the first 24 hours of its release. He chose to break that silence by releasing a barrage of information in 10 tweets on August 26^th.

While perhaps not altogether surprising, the figures are nonetheless impressive, to say the least. Windows 10 has now been installed a mammoth 75,000,000 times, but there were some other interesting facts revealed as well.

Despite coming under fire last week after it was discovered that Microsoft’s new flagship OS was able to find and cripple counterfeit software if it so wished, Mehdi also revealed that Windows 10 had been installed on “some devices manufactured in 2007.”  It was however unclear whether Windows was able to run on those machines, however or if they blew up when the new Start Menu was accessed.

Mehdi also tweeted that “Windows 10 is running in 192 countries, virtually every country in the planet.” A Microsoft spokesman refused to comment when asked: “Is this how Skynet starts?”

There was some  other information in the tweets as well, including the fact that Cortana, Microsoft’s answer to Siri had told over “half a million jokes,” in the month of July.  Mehdi did not comment on whether any of the jokes actually made anyone laugh.

Windows 10 was released as a free upgrade at the end of July for Windows 7, and Windows 8 users. The offer will apply to both operating systems for at least a year.

Please note that for legal reasons, I have been asked to include the following.

The views of this author in no way correspond or represent the views and opinions held by anyone working in, or for, FileHippo.com. There have been no reported injuries or work related injuries in relation to Microsoft, or its employees. Who knows if there even is a reserve supply of Champagne in France. Allegedly. Windows 10 is extremely unlikely to cause a fire on any device it is installed on. Microsoft is not known at this time to be a front for self-aware artificial intelligence intent on extinguishing human life from the planet. I’m sure Cortana is a beautiful on the inside of her virtual processor, and after all that is what’s really important.

 

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